Hadespark

"One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to..."

Mon, 10 Jun 2013 02:25:08 -0400

“One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.”

- Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via creatingaquietmind)

Hacker who outed Steubenville rapists could get more jail time than Steubenville rapists

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 02:01:07 -0400

Hacker who outed Steubenville rapists could get more jail time than Steubenville rapists:

matthewkeys:

Meet Deric Lostutter, a 26-year-old cybersecurity consultant who also goes by the moniker “KYAnonymous.” Lostutter obtained and published tweets and Instagram photos in which members of the Steubenville High School football team joked about an incident in which a 16-year-old girl was raped.

Lostutter’s actions inspired a group of people to take justice into their own hands. A hacker called “Bobcat” vandalized the Facebook page of the Steubenville football team. Other hackers took similar action.

It’s unclear if Lostutter participated in any hacking shenanigans, but if he’s indicted and found guilty of any, he faces 10 years in jail. By comparison, the Steubenville rapists received one- and two-year sentences each.

bebinn: How To Identify Crisis Pregnancy Centers Crisis...

Wed, 05 Jun 2013 02:48:02 -0400

bebinn:

How To Identify Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Crisis pregnancy centers, or pregnancy resource centers, disguise themselves as medical facilities, but usually have no licensed doctors, nurses or counselors. They often appear under “Abortion Alternatives,” and may have names similar to abortion clinics nearby in order to confuse patients into entering their buildings instead of the real clinics.

Once you enter a CPC, their mission is to prevent you from getting an abortion at any cost. They will use misleading language, delay tactics, emotional manipulation, intimidation, and outright lies to either persuade you against abortion or to make you miss your appointment. The worst part? It’s all completely legal and funded by federal dollars.

CPCs do their best to appear as legitimate abortion clinics, so how can you tell which is which? Here is a list of red flags for CPCs:

The words “crisis” or “resource” appear in the center’s name

Their ads use language like “Pregnant & Scared?”

They offer free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds

When asked if they provide abortions or contraception, they will not give a direct answer

The waiting room has biased pamphlets, sometimes with graphic pictures labeled as abortions

They attempt to make you feel guilty about considering abortion

They offer baby items, such as diapers and formula

They downplay the effectiveness of contraception and emphasize abstinence

They emphasize the dangers of abortion (Fact: fewer than 0.3% of patients experience complications requiring hospitalization)

They discuss the false connections between abortion and breast cancer, infertility, or mental illness, often referred to as post-abortion stress syndrome

Regardless of how you talk about the pregnancy, they refer to “your baby,” the “preborn child,” “post-abortive women,” and say that you are “already a mother.”

More on CPCs

How to Identify CPCs

Beware of Fake Clinics

Crisis Pregnancy Centers: An Affront to Choice

CPC Warning Stickers

A list of licensed abortion clinics in the United States can be found on the Abortion Assistance Blog.

universe-juice: chocobo-strider: the-disney-words: SHARE TO...

Sat, 18 May 2013 01:06:58 -0400

universe-juice:

chocobo-strider:

the-disney-words:

SHARE TO SAVE TUMBLR!

- Let’s try and get 100k notes

True shit

A review by one of the folks sums it up perfectly:

“What worries me about Yahoo! buying Tumblr is how it would choose to incorporate the website into its email and homepage features. One of the reasons why Tumblr is so unique is because it’s a niche market. By adding more users who don’t fit into this niche, it would make it more difficult for communities to develop within Tumblr, and Tumblr would have to change to accommodate these new users. Tumblr as a website is not the kind that you can sign up for in a day and be on your way. It is a website crafted so that you can immediately post but must spend several weeks, sometimes even months, to build a community. With new users who would not be willing to spend time growing a community, Tumblr would have to be changed, which would alienate its current users. Those users have spent time and effort to make Tumblr what it is today, and they are the ones who spend time on the website daily. A user who is checking onto Tumblr because it’s attached to their homepage is not going to be as strong of a user nor as dedicated. By changing the website to suit this new user, you would lose the strong users while building an undedicated usership.

To any website that would think of buying Tumblr, they must understand that it is a website that cannot be changed to make it more user friendly to a casual blogger. I think that many Tumblr users would be less worried about a buy-out if they were promised that their communities and ways of using Tumblr would not be changed. No one is going to mind Yahoo! buying the website and gaining a few extra million dollars per year from the minimal advertising; what we will be upset with is if a company like Yahoo! then changes the website to increase casual users and decrease dedicated users. Yahoo! would gain nothing by losing this “cool” group of bloggers in an age group they so desperately want to reach, so they must cater to these individuals by leaving the website exactly as is.” - houseoftombombadil

As much as is does sound like a load of bullshit for someone to buy Tumblr, it’s a possibility. I Personally think it should stay independent and I hope David Karp keeps a hold of it like his own child. Or we make enough noise to where such major changes (if bought) will not happen. I would hate to see Tumblr turned into an advertising dump.

We’re not a ‘hip fad group’ to be marketed to. I hate the fact that’s all we look like to businesses in the end.

reblogging again for this ^

Fucking Hannibal!: Hannibal Give Away!

Wed, 15 May 2013 15:54:14 -0400

Fucking Hannibal!: Hannibal Give Away!:

lagertha-lodbrok:

Are you a Hannibal fan or do you want to be? Well, step right up!

I am going to gift one lucky user with the first 7 episodes of Hannibal through iTunes.

I will choose the winner by using a random number generator. The winner will be chosen Thursday, May 16th at 9pm…

Photo

Sun, 05 May 2013 15:53:28 -0400

fairywine: ❒ Single ❒ Taken ✔ Trying to get people to watch Hannibal

Sat, 04 May 2013 22:12:51 -0400

fairywine:

❒ Single

❒ Taken

✔ Trying to get people to watch Hannibal

Photo

Sat, 04 May 2013 18:45:42 -0400

Created/Developed by Bryan Fuller

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 19:28:34 -0400

Created/Developed by Bryan Fuller

Hannibal Ceuf Download

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 22:44:00 -0400

It has Korean subs and it a torrent. That the only thing I have found. I have a vpn, so I’m able to download it. http://www.torrentrg.net/bbs/board.php?bo_table=torrent_mid&wr_id=50410

Reblog this post if you don't want NBC's 'Hannibal' to be cancelled

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:23:29 -0400

darkpancakelord: deckster: REBLOG: go to your blog and click the egg to see what hatches I got...

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 23:54:06 -0400

darkpancakelord:

deckster:

REBLOG: go to your blog and click the egg to see what hatches

I got Sonic the Hedgehog.

Sonic the fucking Hedgehog.

Maybe I cracked the egg too fast.

Yarn is cheaper than bail.: sam-winchester-cries-during-sex: babycakesforboobear:...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 21:44:11 -0400

Yarn is cheaper than bail.: sam-winchester-cries-during-sex: babycakesforboobear:...:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

babycakesforboobear:

teamfreewill-willcarryon:

voyagesofabookworm:

fartgallery:

if this picture of me gets 14 million notes ill do a thing

the amount of notes is actually kind of scary though

we dont even know what the…

Photo

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 19:18:28 -0400

exoticwild: Do you have like these imaginary scenes in your head of you in situations that would...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 17:12:39 -0400

exoticwild:

Do you have like these imaginary scenes in your head of you in situations that would never actually happen and whenever you’re bored or spacing out or just walking around you kind of just go back to them and imagine them over and over.

sweetsfiend: Since my eyes couldn’t handle the 3D of a bigger...

Tue, 09 Apr 2013 13:03:28 -0400

sweetsfiend:

Since my eyes couldn’t handle the 3D of a bigger screen (and I do cherish my old 3DS too much), I’ve decided to make someone on tumblr happy with their very own Pikachu Limited Edition 3DS XL! I’m really excited to be doing this, and I can just hope it will make someone smile.

No, I won’t be selling it. I am not obligated to answer why, because if you honestly want me to sell it, my answer won’t be sufficient for you. Message me off anon if you’re really dying to know.

Now that the boring parts are over with, let’s go over even more boring stuff, shall we?

Reblogs and likes both count and will combined give you two entries.

You don’t need to be following me. However it would be nice to meet new people, and I do post a lot of Pokémon.

I’ll ship internationally, but the system is European.

No giveaway blogs.

Have your ask box open so that I may contact you.

The giveaway will end on May 10. Have fun, okay? (◡‿◡✿)

Messing around with tumblr and found this out

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 16:34:57 -0400

i-am-a-wayward-daughter:

stayingxgoldxforxjohnnyx:

yourherojunior:

AND

AND WATCH IT SPIN!!:D

I CAN’T FIND THE SWIRLY BUTTON

WHERE’S MY GOD DAMN SWIRLY BUTTON ON THIS KEY BOARD ?!

swirly button on this keyboard

: my mum said if this post gets to 100,000 notes then she might get me a new laptop

Sun, 03 Mar 2013 13:13:26 -0500

: my mum said if this post gets to 100,000 notes then she might get me a new laptop:

enkiduofvideogames:

30stmcr:

knightsofchlamydia:

seriously though, my laptop is in terrible condition:

*sobs quietly*
okay so my laptop keeps crashing and overheating [the heat of one thousand suns is currently coming out from the bottom], the track pad barely works,…

Stop CAS (Copyright Alert System)

Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:14:43 -0500

Stop CAS (Copyright Alert System):

itsnoteasybeinggreenberg:

agentotter:

solving-cryptarithms:

tickingandtocking:

please spread this like wildfire guys im begging you we still need over 90,000 signatures if tumblr can reblog a post 500,000 times for a fluffy chicken, we can reblog this 90,000 times in snap. please please please reblog this, and thank you so much

ALRIGHT YOU GUYS DON’T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THE MAGNITUDE OF THIS STUPIDITY

THEY ARE TRYING TO REMOVE YOUR INTERNET FREEDOM

SEE THAT REACTION GIF FOLDER? YOU’LL GET A LONGER SENTENCE THAN A RAPIST IF THEY FIND THAT
SIGN THIS CRAP OR JUST TURN YOURSELF IN BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT

OUR FREEDOM IS AT STAKE. OUT ACTUAL, FACTUAL FREEDOM IS UNDER THREAT AND PEOPLE ARE DOING NOTHING

THE GOVERNMENT BETRAYS YOU AT EVERY TURN AND YOU DO NOTHING AND EVEN NOW WHEN THEY TRY AND CONTROL THE MOST DIVERSE AND USEFUL MEDIUM ON THE PLANET YOU DO NOTHING
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??

You guys. For real. Sign this petition. It takes like two seconds and if you already have a whitehouse.gov account it is literally a single click. Plz.

I’m Canadian so I can’t sign this, but I’m reblogging it anyway. Also, I wish they’d stop it with this bullshit. They need to leave the internet the fuck alone.

amordragon: Since her death in 1979, the woman who discovered...

Sat, 23 Feb 2013 00:21:04 -0500

amordragon:

Since her death in 1979, the woman who discovered what the universe is made of has not so much as received a memorial plaque. Her newspaper obituaries do not mention her greatest discovery. […] Every high school student knows that Isaac Newton discovered gravity, that Charles Darwin discovered evolution, and that Albert Einstein discovered the relativity of time. But when it comes to the composition of our universe, the textbooks simply say that the most abundant atom in the universe is hydrogen. And no one ever wonders how we know.

Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin, a truly extraordinary woman.